Meet the woman who is TOO PRETTY for dating - women to find a man

Many single women might at some point have thought that losing an extra ten pounds or having a slightly larger chest and blonde curly hair would be the answer to all of their dating problems.
But imagine if the shoe was on the other foot - if your petite figure, pretty face and long golden locks made it hard to find a man because you are TOO pretty.

Paula Jayne Allen, 33, from Chelmsford, Essex, says this is what happened to her when she joined an online dating site five years ago.
She said: 'I am a size six, with long blonde hair and blue eyes and have done a bit of modelling in the past.

'When it came to trying to find a man who would see me as more than just 'piece of meat,' it was so hard. I just felt like eye candy.'

Paula Jayne Allen from Chelmsford, Essex, who tried dating websites but found her size six figure and blonde hair meant only shallow men approached her.

Fed up with shallow men approaching her in nightclubs just looking for a one-night stand, Paula tried online dating as a way of finding a man based on a personality match.

But after reading MailOnline's interview with size 24 Verity Brown, who has struggled to find a man on dating websites because she is overweight, Paula maintains that it was even harder for her to find a partner on the same sites because men simply saw her as a trophy.

Only feeders and seedy fetishists want to go out with me:...
She said: 'Verity is thinking that once she has lost this weight, everything will change and all of these men will come out of the woodwork.

'But it doesn't change, in fact it only gets worse.
'You get all of these men wanting one night stands or who want you to sit there, be quiet and just be arm candy.
'I went on two dating websites - and eHarmony - about five years ago, just before I met my now-husband and it was awful.

'I decided to try it because all of the sites guarantee to match you up with someone who shares your interests, so it's more about personality, and I was fed up with all of the men in the bars looking for skirt.

'But it made no difference.

'You'd regularly get people getting in contact just saying, "Fancy meeting up for a f**k?"

'You'd get married men just wanting fun and you'd get people saying, "I just need someone for one night, can you do me a favour?"

'It really was truly awful.'

Often, Paula also found that men were just interested in using her so that they could impress their friends with a good looking girl on their arm.

She said: 'If you did meet people online and then go out for a drink with them away from the websites, they'd take you out to where their mates were and they'd just want you to stand there.
Paula Jayne struggled to find a decent man in nightclubs, because they were always 'chasing skirt.' The mother-of-two thought dating sites would be the answer to her problems but found they attracted similar kinds of men.

'If you tried to talk to them and they realised that you have a brain and you actually quite enjoy intelligent conversation, then they wouldn't want to see you again.

'It was really frustrating and very boring.

'Some of them I'd talk to a couple of times online and then they'd take me out in front of their friends  and their male friends would look me up and down and give me the approving look.

'Then their female friends would grab hold of their men and give you the female equivalent of the snarl and you'd think to yourself, 'I'm really not after your man!'

'It got frustrating, it got disheartening and I gave up.

'I must have been on there for a good six months before I just lost faith and gave up.

'I couldn't get anywhere on those sites, it was always sleazebags and people who just wanted to use me and didn't care if I had any opinions on anything or care at all what I thought really.'

Paula also used to get a constant stream of requests from married men, who would ask her to be their mistress.

She said: 'I had married men approach me all of the time saying, 'My marriage is on the rocks, my wife doesn't understand me, I'm hoping you will.'

It's like, do you really think I will fall for that?

'You get the sob stories, they would constantly email you expecting a reply.

'I replied saying, "Do you think I was born yesterday?"

'They have no shame.'

But far from sharing her story in order to brag about her good looks, Paula is actually hoping to inspire women like Verity, who are happy about their larger figures, not to change for a man.

She said: 'I was reading the article and I thought that she shouldn't lose weight - it's not the answer to anything.

'Mr Right will be there whether or not she loses the weight - she shouldn't have to change that, she should be happy as she is. 

'I didn't change a thing about me, even though when I was joining these agencies, all of these men were only interested in one thing.

'But I didn't change anything, I didn't change my hair colour, my size or anything.

'And I still found my husband at the end of it all.

'Just be yourself, no one should have to change. If you're truly happy in who you are you shouldn't have to change a single thing about you, because someone else will love that happiness - it will shine through in everything that you do.'

Just a few months after giving up on dating sites, Paula met her now-husband Mark and they have been together for four years.

The couple also share two children Molli-Jayne, who is three next month and William, who turned two years old last week.

She said: 'I met my husband about 14 years ago in a nightclub, we dated for about three or four months and eventually broke up because he was quite quiet and I was too outgoing.

'But by chance, we happened to bump into each other again ten years down the line.

'I looked him up on Facebook, got in contact, and asked him for a drink and we pretty much haven't been apart since.
'We fell in love straight away again.'

Paula is hoping her story will help women who are also struggling to find love to understand that it often has very little to do with something like being overweight.

She said 'I know there will be some backlash but I don't mean any of this in that way.

'I've never won awards or used my beauty to get anywhere.

'My best friend is a size 20, but she doesn't care in the slightest - we're like little and large - and but she gets more attention than I do because she has so much confidence.

'It doesn't matter about the size, just whether you are happy in yourself.